Emotional regulation at work is a hot topic these days. Why? In part because mediocre men have been mansplaining our wisdom back to us for centuries. And we are getting tired of it.

I’ve seen it called Correctile Dysfunction – a subtle but damaging form of emotional dysregulation that ripples through professional settings. It’s that moment your idea gets “re-explained” but louder, slower, and with less finesse. And now, somehow, your beautifully thought-out concept has become theirs.

You feel a mix of negative emotions: frustration, disbelief, resentment, and maybe even self-doubt. Those intense emotions can spike your stress levels and disrupt your emotional state, especially in challenging situations like a team meeting or client pitch, where composure is key.

When your idea is getting poorly described back to you, you feel that all-too-familiar split. Part of you wants to audibly roll your eyes. Another wants to defend. And yet another starts to wonder whether you might have actually said it wrong. That constant ‘correction’ chips away at your self-confidence. It forces brilliant people like you into self-doubt-ridden silence, or into over-explaining themselves just to be heard.

What can happen when faced with this situation is that we give in to the urge to meet Chad the Interruptor at his level. It is so tempting to point out where he got it so incredibly wrong in his “re-explain” of your idea. It’s satisfying to try to talk over him, louder than him, to try to reiterate your point. But not only is this diminishing your credibility in front of others, it’s also quite simply not your job. I know that is frustrating to be told, but hear me out. Because here’s where emotional intelligence steps in.

It IS your job to own your voice. And to own it so completely that Chad has no choice but to quiet down. He won’t again consider using his trademark phrase, “I think what she’s trying to say is…”

When you self-regulate in these moments, when you pause to take deep breaths instead of reacting impulsively, you’re using an emotion regulation strategy known as cognitive reappraisal —reframing the current situation to regain emotional control.

This isn’t avoidance. You aren’t passively handing power over to Chad or giving him more runway to steal more of your ideas. It’s a proven self-regulation strategy backed by research from sources like the Harvard Business Review, showing that leaders with strong emotional intelligence make better decisions, maintain lower stress levels, and improve team performance even in toxic work environments.

The truth is: calm isn’t compliance. It’s clarity and it’s control (the good kind). 

It’s the difference between reacting to negative behavior and responding with a positive outlook, between letting unpleasant emotions hijack your mental health, or leading with emotional well-being.

In professional settings, composure like this is a form of effective leadership. When you regulate before reacting and ground yourself in the present moment, you not only protect your personal well-being but also strengthen interpersonal relationships and build stronger ties with your team members. You don’t hand your power away. No. Instead? You reclaim it.

This is emotional intelligence in action: managing your own emotions while staying attuned to others’. People remember how you made them feel, not just what you said. That’s why maintaining a cool head in stressful situations has a positive effect on your professional life, reducing adverse outcomes such as burnout or high blood pressure.

By maintaining your cool, you unsettle the very people (I’m looking at you, proverbial Chad) who expect you to get defensive and thrive on labeling you “sensitive.” Not only that, when you stay steady, you shift your inner state AND the energy of the room.

You model emotional intelligence AND reclaim your authority without ever raising your voice.

Next time you’re corrected mid-sentence, don’t rush to prove your point. Instead, practice distress tolerance:

1. Pause. It’s hard to do, but take a few seconds. Close your mouth so you don’t look like you’re trying to speak.
2. Breathe. Take one deep, slow breath in through your nose and out through your nose. Not an audibly annoyed sigh. Just a normal deep breath.
3. Anchor your attention in the present moment. Feel your feet on the floor.

This not only helps regulate difficult emotions but also models social awareness and conflict resolution. By taking that moment to breathe, to ground, to pause, you bring yourself out of rising resentment and back to YOU. Calm, reasonable, rational, you. Your muscles relax. Your jaw unclenches. Your shoulders drop.

And here is where the magic lies. Your voice? It will sound powerful. Commanding. It sounds like you. People will listen to you.

Social awareness and conflict resolution are two key leadership skills and vital soft skills in modern workplaces.

When you stay calm, you inspire positive feelings among your colleagues, improve team performance, and foster healthier social relationships. You become the torchbearer, lighting the way for other women frustrated by this phenomenon. Chad doesn’t even know what those words mean and he’s still looking for the matchbox to light the torch.

Correctile Dysfunction isn’t solved by shouting louder. It’s solved by self-regulation, steady presence, and the kind of confidence that doesn’t require external validation.

Save your energy for the moments that matter. Use your breath as a kind of out-loud punctuation. Lead with composure. This is what the people who matter will remember long after your words fade.

Emotional regulation isn’t suppression. It’s choosing a positive way to engage with your emotional experience – one that protects your mental well-being and enhances job satisfaction.

Because calm, when it’s chosen, is the sharpest comeback there is.